Vintage Javed Akhtar in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobaara

दिलो में तुम अपनी बेताबिया लेकर चल रहे हो तो जिंदा हो तुम
नज़र में ख्वाबो की बिजलिया लेकर चल रहे हो तो जिंदा हो तुम
हवा के झोको के जैसे आज़ाद रहना सीखो
तुम एक दरिया के जैसे लेहरो में बहना सीखो
हर एक लम्हे से मिलो तुम खोले अपनी बाहें
हर एक पल एक नया समां देखे यह निगाहें
जो अपनी आँखो में हैरानिया लेकर चल रहे हो तो जिंदा हो तुम
दिलो में तुम अपनी बेताबिया लेकर चल रहे हो तो जिंदा हो तुम

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जब जब दर्द का बादल छाया
जब गम का साया लहराया
जब आंसू पलको तक आया
जब यह तन्हा दिल घबराया


हमने दिलको यह समझाया
दिल आखिर तू क्यो रोता है
दुनिया में यूँही होता है 
यह जो गहरे सन्नाटे है
वक्त ने सबको ही बाटे है
थोडा गम है सबका किस्सा
थोड़ी धुप है सबका हिस्सा
आँख तेरी बेकार ही नम है
हर पल एक नया मौसम है
क्यूँ तू ऐसे पल खोता है
दिल आखिर तू क्यो रोता है



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पिघले  नीलम सा बेहता यह समां
नीली नीली सी खामोशियाँ 
ना कहीं ज़मीन, ना कहीं आसमां
सरसराती हुई टहनियां, पत्तियाँ
कह रही है की बस एक तुम हो यहाँ
सिर्फ मैं हूँ
मेरी सासें है और मेरी धड़कने
ऐसी गहराइयाँ, ऐसी तनहाइयाँ
और मैं...सिर्फ मैं
अपने होने पे मुझको यकीन आ गया


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एक बात होटो तक है जो आई नहीं 
बस आँखो से है झांकती
तुमसे कभी, मुझसे कभी
कुछ लफ्ज़ है वोह मांगती
जिनको पहेनके होटो तक आ जाए वोह
आवाज़ की बाहो में बाहें डालके इठलाये वोह


लेकिन जो ये एक बात है 
एहसास ही एहसास है
खुशबू सी जैसे है हवा में तैरती 
खुशबू जो बेआवाज़ है
जिसका पता तुमको भी है
जिसकी खबर मुझको भी है
दुनिया से भी छुपता नहीं
ये जाने कैसे राज़ है

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Its that time of the year

The 2012 F1 season is about to start. For me, one of the most eagerly anticipated and for all the right reasons 

- 6 world champions.

- Pre-season testing has seen all teams struggling in some way or the other.

- In all probability Michael Schumacher's last season. That's the sad part actually(however he 

would like to go out on top). With the form Mercedes has shown so far, the least I am expecting is a couple of podium finishes.

- Lastly, I will get to witness the race in person (Canada or Texas, still to decide).

And the countdown begins... 01 days 06 hours 00 mins

Another Chapter in the Sorry Tale of Indian Politics

Two days back, Mr. Dinesh Trivedi, Cabinet Minister for Railways, presented the annual rail budget. I must agree I did have a lot of hopes this time around. Because unlike the other ex-ministers, he cared. In numerous press conferences before the budget he had mentioned the need to improve safety, improve facilities for passengers, increase speed, increase fares. Well almost all others spoke about them as well. But for some reason I always found it more believable when he said it. Maybe because he being a businessman before diving into politics helped his case. And he delivered. At least most of it.

Apart from the usual introduction of plethora of trains, he focused heavily on improving safety, which I feel currently should be the top priority. Every year nearly 200-300 people die in various rail accidents. This figure is astronomical in every sense of the way. I think even if we combine the rail fatalities throughout the world and compare it against India, we'll come out on top. And I am not counting the hundreds who die taking the Mumbai local. To improve safety railways needs money. Money comes from the people who use the services, freight and people. While freight charges have increased each year but so has number of employees who are being paid based on 6th pay commission. So that only leaves travelling passengers. However, there is bound to be paucity of funds when you are charging people using your services, what you charged 5 years back (I won't say 8, because Lalu and Mamta though did not increase the fares directly, they did do it rather cleverly. Call an express train a super fast express and charge Rs.20 more). So the rise in fares was a rather welcome surprise and that too for all classes. And it is not a huge increase. On an average for people travelling on lowest class, its only a 10-15% hike, which after a 8 year period is completely justified. Even if we adjust for inflation I am sure the prices for tickets in second seating and sleeper is still low.

But it came as a no surprise when the self proclaimed Mahatma of the poor, Miss Mamta Banerjee had other ideas. The idea of "burdening" the common man was just too big to fit into her tiny brain. To put the price rise into perspective, a one way ticket from Delhi - Howrah, which was 226 before would cost between 260-270. I don't think there is even a single person in India who cannot handle this hike. And if there is, it proves that the government has not done anything for the upliftment of the poor in the past 8 years.

Coming back to main point, to remove this burden, TMC started the effort of first trying to convince him to take the rise back. But Mr.Trivedi did not back down fully knowing he was on a suicidal path. To put in his own words, he put his country before himself. I don't think I have seen such a selfless act in politics in a long long time. Since it did not work, she went to her usual last and the most favorite resort, blackmail. And did she not prevail once more.

Here's hoping Mr. Dinesh Trivedi does not loose his heart and passion with one setback and continue the good work that he embarked on.

Some of Barney's most Awesome and wait for it....Legendary Moments..

1. Three Day Rule
The Three day rule explains why we should wait 3 days before calling a woman.

Jesus started the whole wait three days thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was Perfect.
If he had waited only one day a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They would be all "Hey Jesus....Whaddupp??"
Jesus would be probably like "Whaddupp?? I died yesterday!!!!"
Then people would be all..."Err..you look pretty alive to me dude !!"
And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected and how it was a miracle and then the dude would be like... "Okkk!!!....whatever you say bro!"
And Jesus is not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody is busy doing chores, working the loom, trimming their beards.
No. He waited the exact right number of days....Three!!
Plus its Sunday and so everybody is in the church already. They are all in there..."Ohh Noo...Jesus is dead"
Then BAMMM!!!... He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle....
Everyone's totally pysched and FYI , thats when he invented the High Five!!!

Three Days! We wait three days to call a woman because thats how long Jesus wants us to wait...

True Story.

2. The sexless Innkeeper
T'was the night before new year's,
And the weather grew mean.
It was 3:00 in the morning, And I was stranded in Queens.
The tavern grew empty, The gas lights grew dim.
The horse-drawn carriages were all but snowed in
Last call was approaching, And my fortunes looked bleak.
Then I turned to my left And stifled a shriek.
She had a peach fuzz beard And weighed 16 stone.
She gobbled up hot wings And swallowed the bones.
I muffled a scream And threw up in my mouth.
I asked, "where do you live?" And she said, "one block south."
I swallowed my pride And six shots of whiskey.
And prayed to the gods That she wasn't too frisky.
Back in her cave, she prepared us a snack.
'neath her mighty hooves, the floorboards did crack.
But when she returned, She found a sound sleeper.
And thus she became The sexless innkeeper.


3. It's gonna be legend-... wait for it... and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!”

4. God, it's me, Barney. Whadup? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.

5. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead... True story !


6.Ted: Do you have a cold?
Barney: I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of
it out.

7. Three Rules of Cheating
There's three rules of cheating: It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married. It's not cheating if her name had two adjacent vowels, and it's not cheating if she's from a different area code.

8.Marshall: [after the stripper breaks her ankle] Now we'll have to spend my bachelor party in the hospital.
Barney: Then we'll see her X-rays. The ultimate stripping. X-rays? More like triple-X-rays.

9.Standard letter Barney uses with some of the women he sleeps with.
“Dear Resident,The time we spent together, however long it was, meant the world to me. I would love to see you again but unfortunately I cannot. You see… I am a ghost. I can only materialize once every decade on the anniversary of my death. I chose to spend my one day among the living with you, sweet resident. Perhaps we will meet again in another decade provided you keep your fitness. Until then, all my love from the beyond,
Barney”

10. The Cheerleader Effect
The Cheerleader Effect is a situation in which not so hot or awesome people who do not appear hot as individuals seem hot when in a group. This is very common among cheerleaders. Hence the name; cheerleader effect. The origins of the cheerleader can be dated back many years ago when the great Barnibus Stinson discovered the Bro code. Since then the cheerleader effect has evolved in different shapes and sizes. Among some very poplar examples of the cheerleader effect are; the Brazilian soccer team of the 1990's, the cheerleading team of Oklahoma. It was only in the late 1990's that some very few cases of the cheerleader effect in men were observed. Some common examples are the England football team and President Clinton's Cabinet. So the next time you see a bunch of hot looking women at a bar, take a good look at them one by one.